I must admit that I am not a huge fan of mustaches–especially big furry “haven’t quite finished eating the squirrel” types. I think this stems from my Obsessive Compulsive fear of accidentally ingesting someone else’s snot. You are likely confused by that last statement. Let me explain.
Everyone needs to blow their nose from time to time–and I can only assume that owning a mustache does not exempt you from this necessity. And snot has a poor sense of direction. It does not know that it is supposed to fly in the direction of the Kleenex. We’ve all had to wipe a rogue booger off our lip, chin or–on one occasion, our forehead. Don’t ask. In my opinion, the mustache is the perfect hiding place for a renegade snot to dwell. And I don’t want to kiss someone who has a nest of boogers residing directly above their lip.
But I must confess that Barry Weiss would be the exception to my mustache rule. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad that he doesn’t have a hairy upper lip–but if he did, I would learn to cope with it. And all the stray snot.
Thankfully, Barry appears to be sticking to the Sharpie-style ‘stache–in a lovely shade of royal blue. If you’d like to see what Barry would look like with an upper lip of bushy blue, check this out…